A  few weeks ago, my husband got us tickets to see a live Christmas show at the historic Ryman Theater. I’m a huge fan of Christmas music, making this a great gift. If you’re in Middle Tennessee, you can’t throw a steel guitar without hitting a super talented musician or two, so, as you might assume, this was a stage full of Music City pros.

Pretty quickly into the show, even with all that was happening on the crowded stage, my attention was nearly consumed by the half-a-dozen backup singers, harmonizing and swaying and snapping their fingers in unison behind the main act.

I’m not much of a bucket list kind of person, but I have to admit that were I to have such a list, “perform as a backup singer” would be near the top. I’m fascinated by them. I get sweaty just thinking about standing alone in the center of a spotlight, but I could easily visualize myself in that background role standing with other singers. Though I’m famously uncoordinated, I think I could—with some practice, mind you—get the snap, step, snap, step sequence down without completely embarrassing myself. They also often wear something black and slimming, so just another point in favor of the backup singer gig.

I’m not saying that the lead singer has an ego problem—everyone is gifted for something different—but as I was watching those background performers ooo and ahh to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” I started moralizing in my head about the backup singer mentality as an interesting philosophical question. (Needless to say, I’m a real fun concert date.)

Living with the mindset that you are ready and willing to encourage and be happy for others in their spotlight moments—those shining periods where they have something beautiful to celebrate—helps us follow part of Romans 12. “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another.” The compulsion to compete and compare instead of celebrate others’ good fortune will rob us of happily watching those we love fulfill their heart’s desires. It steals the joy we could be receiving if only we could set aside our own wishes and self-interest to live in harmony, that warm reverberation of sounds that happens when all the notes are swelling together in perfect agreement.

In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis gives this helpful advice: “As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

Studying our national mood, I see a lot of disagreement and conflict. I see too many glaring spotlights and restricted stages for voices who only want to sow discord and deepen divisions. My prayer for this New Year is that we’ll see a rising trend toward promoting bridge-builders and peace-makers. I pray that “harmony” will be the word of the year, and people with real influence will endorse living selflessly, instead of giving tips for succeeding at the detriment of others.

Another quote from Mere Christianity haunts me with its clarity: “It is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began.” Let’s choose to set aside our own pride and instead care about each other more. That would hit all the right notes to build a better community. I could ooo and aah to that tune every day!