We had a visitor in Sunday school last week. A mom I’d never seen before dropped off her 5-year old daughter and left us to get acquainted. I noticed right away that this girl was full of personality. Her cheeks were covered in purple glitter and she was carrying a small, jam-packed purse. I asked her if she wanted to hang her purse up on the hooks by the door before joining her classmates on the rug for free time. Reluctantly, she hung it up and went to play with a box of Mr. Potato Heads. A few minutes later, she went back to her purse and took out a simple calculator. Looking at the screen with a serious expression on her face, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and began to press the number buttons with her thumbs. Then she paused, sighed deeply, and returned her “phone” to her purse. When the class sat down to hear a Bible story, I found a spot to sit next to my new friend. She smiled at me and whispered, “I have a boyfriend.” Apparently she thought that was all I needed to know about her. This little girl had no trouble getting into the head of someone else—namely a teenager. She is wholly devoted to understanding the psyche and tribal customs of a girl on the cusp of adulthood. Her understanding may be flawed and stereotypical, but you have to appreciate her dedication. The solution to so many of our relationship problems might be doing just what that 5-year old attempted to do—put yourself in the place of another. That’s not to say we should allow and excuse misbehavior and cruelty in our society, but we might be able to understand the reasons for bad behavior a little better from someone else’s vantage point—from their home life, their disappointments and their experiences. As Atticus Finch in the novel To Kill a Mockingbird tells his daughter, “If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Once we see things from their perspectives, our “enemies” can become regular, flawed people we understand and, then we can help them understand us better. After that, we can do what the Apostle Paul devoted his life to as explained in 1 Corinthians 9. Paul says: “Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.” He goes on to say: “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.” When we can truly “climb into his skin” and “become all things to all people,” then we can truly extend to others the grace offered to us every day by the One who knows us inside and out. #friendship

It happens to everyone at some point: you sit down to eat at a restaurant with family and friends. After perusing the lengthy menu, you order. When the waiter delivers the food, it hits you—regret. You wonder why in the world you ordered the BLT when you see the plate of sizzling fajitas set down in front of your friend. Or why you thought it was a good idea to get the light portion of the garden salad when you see your husband’s giant Porter House steak and baked potato. We experience regret on many levels for as many reasons—my fault, your fault, our fault, no one’s fault. Whether some evil was done intentionally or completely by mistake, we’ve let someone down and we regret the role we played. Just or unjust, we suffer the consequences. What happens next is where we show our true selves. The extent regret shapes our future relationships and self-worth is one of the most crucial factors to our happiness. After some thought, prayer, and frank discussions with friends, I’ve come up with the following analogy: you’ve jumped into the sea with no life jacket and no plan. Upon further reflection you realize jumping was a huge mistake. You flail your arms wildly; angry with yourself and the so-called friends who let you jump. But angry arm-flailing isn’t helping the situation. In the distance you see four buoys bobbing up and down and you realize they are there to lead you to the other side. You must swim to each buoy and rest before moving on. Here are the four places you must cross: See the challenging situation as an opportunity. You’ve always wanted to get better at being you and here’s the perfect excuse to improve! It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for! Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Use this painful time to grow. Don’t waste it. Forgive yourself and others. Regret is a battle with shame. Hanging on to the bitterness that comes with the sins of betrayal, selfishness, miscommunication, and misdeeds is mostly harmful to yourself. The sooner you can extend forgiveness, the sooner you can heal. Be thankful. Regret prevents us from seeing the blessings we have. When we concentrate only on the pain we’ve caused and/or endured, we’re cheating ourselves of enjoying the sanctifying power of gratitude. Move on with the help of God and your community. When an error becomes public, it feels like your flaws and mistakes are hanging out of you like a gruesome, bleeding wound. A friend who continues to work through the pitfalls of regret told me “the first place your mind goes is to the depressing place of loneliness. You feel like you are all alone. The Biblical version of community shatters that loneliness.” When you can be transparent about your sin and find love and understanding in spite of your transgressions, you can move past it with a lesser burden of regret. Regret and bitterness nearly always go together but that doesn’t have to be your default setting. As my friend told me, “After you’ve really messed up, regret and bitterness is the first stop but don’t make it a rest stop.” #healing

You inhale deeply as you approach the wooden archway. A voice from the speaker above you and to your right is midway through its recording: “…so ride at your own risk. Only you know your limitations.” You pull the corners of your mouth into a forced smile at the child who stands beside you. She has asked you to join her on this journey. It would be pure cowardice to retreat. Together, you weave through the maze of metal fencing to find your place in line. The bars are painted a dark red. Shallow scratches and deep gashes in the paint show the original steely gray underneath. You rest your palms against the horizontal bars at your waist, but pull them back as you consider all of the sticky, sweaty hands that have blazed this trail before you, pioneers in tank tops and athletic shorts. You glance at your child who stands shoulder-to-shoulder with you. You notice that you are eye level now. When did she get so tall or when did you shrink? She leans her back against the bar behind her, looking carefree and relaxed. A clattering sound rumbles over your heads, followed seconds later by deafening screams, and then both sounds are gone in a rush of air. You shuffle forward a few feet. Conversations circle around you. Small children whine about the wait. Mothers remind them to be patient. A girl braids her friend’s hair into a long, tight rope. You turn away when you see a young couple embrace—too much affection in such a confined space. Finally, you see the loading area. You watch people—brave souls just like you—as they board the cars. You fight the urge to salute them and their bravery. The affectionate couple from before is seated and both look nervous. “I’m a little scared,” your child says quietly. You fake enthusiasm and confidence. You tell her, “Ah, come on. It’ll be fun. I promise.” The cars return with their windswept occupants, smiling broadly. You wonder if their smiles are from joy or relief or both. Either way, you are encouraged that they returned without injury. Your child slides into the car and you follow her. You attempt to steady trembling hands as you buckle the thick seat belt and pull down the padded bar. The bored, teen-aged park employee walks past each pair and tugs at their restraints. Internally, you question the extent of the training that allows him to operate this giant death trap. It’s too late to turn back now. The cars rumble away slowly, teasing you with their nonchalant speed. You know this is a trick. You know this ride is designed to rattle your fillings and challenge your bladder. The car climbs the steep hill with a repetition of clicks. At the top of the hill, you have only the briefest moment to assess the situation. In that moment, you calculate the risks and search your memory bank for any relevant news stories of crashes and negligent park staff. Then, you fall. The rapid descent lifts you ever so slightly from your seat. Your heart races and your stomach drops. You chance a look at your child next to you—her eyes shut tight and her hands thrown into the air. She smiles. You scream. You find that you are grabbing her arm, involuntarily. The fear you felt before for your safety has been transferred to fear for hers. When the ride is jerked to an abrupt end, you step out of the car and onto the platform with shaky legs. “That was fun!” your child says, as she bounces up and down with the release of pent-up energy. “Wanna do it again?” “Let’s let your dad have a turn to ride it with you,” you say, feigning maternal selflessness. The endless recording continues as you exit the archway: “Only you know your limitations.” You chuckle at the thought of fully knowing something as fluid as your limitations. You follow your child, watching her long legs manage a smooth, assertive stride and you wonder, “Did I just ride a roller coaster or watch my daughter walk through the doors of her school for her first day of 8th grade?” #parenthood

Mrs. Brackett was my 4th grade teacher. She was, in every way, my favorite elementary school teacher. (She received this praise in part because my 3rd grade teacher was a screamer. She made me so nervous that I chewed on and eventually ingested those triangular, rubber pencil grips I bought from the school bookstore.) Every week, Mrs. Brackett designated two students as Good Citizens. This distinction included a certificate and some kind of candy, like a Sugar Daddy or a handful of Now-or-Laters. She persuaded us to find information for ourselves. When we learned about evaporation, she told us we could set up our own experiments with Styrofoam cups of water all over the room. She was encouragement personified. She was round and grandmotherly. She smiled easily. Her husband—a former Bozo the Clown from the 1960’s—played Santa Claus at the faculty Christmas parties my family always attended. They were a perfect pair. By the time I was ready to declare my major in college, Mrs. Brackett had transferred to my university’s education department. She was assigned to be my faculty adviser. At my first appointment in her tiny office to discuss my schedule, she pulled out a ruler and a sharpened pencil. She created a spreadsheet on a piece of typing paper, mapping out my next four years in her precise cursive handwriting. When I told her I wasn’t very good at math so I didn’t want to take more than the math classes required for my major, she said, “Who told you that you aren’t good at math?” Mrs. Brackett saw potential everywhere, even in the most unlikely places. With all of these memories, the thing I most remember about Mrs. Brackett was not her teaching style or how many book reports we had to write. What I remember most was the morning of January 28, 1986. It was the birthday of a boy in my class named Matthew. We sat at our desks that morning to eat the cupcakes or cookies or Twinkies Matthew’s mother had sent in for a treat. Mrs. Brackett rolled a television cart into the room and turned on the set. A space shuttle was going to be sent off and she had decided to skip a portion of her lesson plan so we could watch it. I’m sure a part of Mrs. Brackett’s fascination with this particular flight was due to the presence of Christa McAuliffe, a teacher chosen to join the crew of the Space Shuttle Challenger. Maybe Mrs. Brackett had wished for just such an opportunity. We counted down with the newscaster or NASA employee as he announced, “Lift off.” Then we watched as the space shuttle raced up into the heavens and exploded just minutes later. We were stunned, silent. I wish I could remember exactly what Mrs. Brackett said. Maybe she didn’t say anything, at least not for a while. What I do remember was her presence and the comfort her presence gave, filling the room to replace the void the explosion created. She was there, feeling what we were feeling. Crying and trying to make sense of this sudden disaster. This is what great teachers do. They inspire us. They get in the trenches with their students. They make them feel safe. Sometimes, they even lay down their lives for these children. If you’re a teacher, thank you. If you’re not a teacher, go find one and thank him or her today. #teachers

I am the queen of strange injuries, allergies, and illnesses. For instance, a few weeks ago, while drying the dishes after my sister-in-law washed them, a cup full of silverware tipped over on the counter. One of them—an innocent-looking table knife—fell on the top of my foot, slicing a tendon. That tiny tendon’s main job was to make my next-to-baby toe mobile. Without it’s efforts, that toe has retired from service to his four brothers. It flops. It gets annoyingly tucked under the toes that flank him on either side. In other words, it’s worthless. When I’m sitting for a period of time, I forget the accident happened. There’s no sharp pain and it stopped bleeding long ago. But as soon as I stand up, and walk barefoot across my floor, I remember. When it fails to clear a door threshold and I nearly lose a toenail, I think, “Oh, yeah. That’s right…I forgot.” This is what it can feel like to live with an ongoing sorrow. The original, agonizing pain may be gone but there’s a dull ache that remains. This pain may be the result of the death of a loved one or the end of a marriage. It may be the mourning of the life that was never realized—never married, never had children, never became that person. There may be moments when you don’t think about what or who is missing, but those moments are fleeting. Before you can settle into breathing without this sorrow bearing down on your chest like an anvil, a photo or a note reminds you of what’s been lost (or never found). When C.S. Lewis lost his wife, he wrote about grief. He said, “The death of a beloved is an amputation.” You can survive it, but the sorrow remains. “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning.” So how does one live with this kind of relentless sorrow? Find someone to help you carry it. Even if it’s been months or years or even decades since you came face to face with your personal nightmare, speak it to another person. Now, it can’t be just anybody. The listening ear you’re looking for should be empathetic. He should not say phrases like: “Well, you think that’s bad…” or “It could be worst. At least…” This listening friend isn’t there to repair or change history. He’s there to absorb a bit of the pain, to say: “I’m so sorry.” We were never promised an easy life. In fact, Christians are assured of persecution. But we’re also called to carry one another’s burdens. If you are overwhelmed by sorrow, find someone to listen to your story today. #caring #friendship #healing

I saw a sight as elusive and rare as an albino chipmunk today…a man multi-tasking. He was smoking a cigarette and texting on his cell phone while riding his bike on a busy street in the rain. Not recommended but impressive nonetheless. It’s a proven fact that women are better at multi-tasking than men. Searching for evidence reveals test after test with women coming out ahead. Most of these tests involve a combination of activities, like completing simple arithmetic problems while answering the telephone and formulating a plan to find lost keys. In other words, a typical after-school afternoon. Are women better at multi-tasking because their lifestyles require it so they improve out of necessity or do they allow their lifestyles to include multi-tasking because they are naturally capable of it? Nature or nurture? Either way, it’s amazing to witness an expert in her field. A real exception to the female-only multi-taskers is Jesus. When you look at chapter five in the Book of Mark, we see Jesus at his busiest. He’s just removed a legion of demons from a crazed man who lived in the graveyard. The people are troubled by Jesus’ power so they urge him to leave. He boards a boat to cross a lake. No sooner has he landed, than a man begging for Jesus to save his daughter approaches him. Jesus agrees to go with him, but he’s stopped suddenly by a distinct feeling. A bit of his power has left him. He looks around and sees a woman so desperate for healing she reaches for the cloak of this powerful man passing by. Jesus leans in to the trembling woman to tell her she’s free. Her faith has released her from the disease. No time to waste, Jesus continues on to help the man and his dying daughter. The man’s friends come to tell him they are too late. But Jesus tells the grieving father, “Don’t be afraid. Just believe.” Jesus leans in again but this time in a quiet room by the bedside of a dead girl. He takes her hand and tells her to get up, like it’s just another morning and time for her to start her day. The effect is immediate. The girl is up, walking and eating. I love this series of stories. I love to think about Jesus, plopping down on some floor cushions at the end of this very long day. Stretching his sore shoulders, suddenly realizing he is hungry. He’s been busy tending to others’ needs and now he can rest. It’s a multi-tasker’s finest hour—that moment when your tasks are done. #parenthood

I have never had a broken bone. I don’t know whether to chalk this up to my calcium intake or my cautious nature (neither of which are particularly high), but either way, I’ve avoided it. My kids, on the other hand, are another story. One of my daughters has suffered from a broken arm three times. Each time, she was doing something she’d done many times before: climbing into her booster seat at the table, sliding down the short indoor slide in the playroom, swinging on the swing set on the school playground. The older of my two sons has been more inventive with his breaks. He broke his elbow sliding to block a goal while playing soccer…by himself…in our carpeted basement. He also broke his finger while trying to crack open a coconut in the church parking lot during Vacation Bible School. Last week, we received word that our youngest child, our adopted son we’re trying to bring home from Africa, broke his collarbone. My husband assured me it was going to be fine. He said if a kid was going to break a bone, this was a good one because it heals quickly. This was some comfort but my heart was hurting for our four-year old son who was in pain and thousands of miles away from me. To help me visualize his recovery, I asked my husband for an explanation of how bones heal. He told me how the body is designed for just this kind of situation. He said almost as soon as the break occurs, special cleansing blood clots form around the area. The immune system sends in cells to clean out the break to prevent infection. Then a soft callus is formed, followed by a hard callus. These protective barriers cocoon the miracle happening inside: new bone cells growing on both sides of the break, meeting to bridge the gap. Finally, the body sends in special cells to break down the hard callus and remodel the bone to its original state. When I first heard that our young son was suffering from a broken collarbone, I was distraught. No mother wants her child to be in pain. It’s human nature to avoid suffering. But the Scriptures tell us that suffering—both physical and emotional—is part of life. We stumble and fall. We get sick. Our bones can break and so can our hearts. Fortunately, there’s a plan for healing. There’s a system in place to clean out the wound and build it back up. It may take weeks or it may take years. The broken section may never look exactly the same as it did before but healing is possible. “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalms 34:18 #healing

Ever since I can remember, I have been blessed with great friends. I attended the same school from second grade through college, so I enjoyed a real consistency of companionship. I have friends I’ve known for more than thirty years who I could call today if I needed them. Throughout high school, there was a group of us—six girls—and we were each other’s best friends. We had a lot of shared interests but the most important common thread in our group was our lack of boyfriends. We didn’t have to choose between dates and friends. It just wasn’t an issue. Our Friday nights were free to hang with the girls. Within this circle of friends, we each had a role to play: Melissa was the mother hen, driving us on road trips in her parents’ mini-van. Mature before her time and an intuitive nurturer, you could always count on Melissa to have a “mom’s supply” of necessary items in her purse. Liz was the creative genius. She was never bored. Liz could easily say your name backwards. She was the one who suggested we whistle in harmony on the way to class or invent a new handwriting style. Rachel made sure we kept it real. Her dry, dry, dry sense of humor cut through every situation until you could see the ridiculousness of the moment and read it for what it truly was. Jenne had the built-in map skills. She was all no non-sense and get-it-done with a heavy dose of kindness and compassion. Jenne kept us moving in the right direction—literally. Karen was the artistic one. She created beauty on canvases and with found objects. She made us jewelry boxes from reclaimed pizza boxes and a lobster costume for herself out of red felt and wood glue. Karen’s art was no respecter of labels. I’m not exactly sure what my role was in this group, or what it is now. Maybe my purpose was to be grateful for it and document the uniqueness of these friendships. Those five ladies prepared me for the relationships I have had since high school, like our friends who lived across the street when we were first married and finding our way in a new city. Those friends who became mothers at the same time as me were my lifeline to sanity. I continue to have friends who amaze me. These relationships have been forged at church and at my kids’ schools and sports teams. They help me with pickup and drop-off. We stand side-by-side for hours, shivering at soccer games and cooking for teacher appreciation lunches. Some days, they share large but mostly hidden, secret parts of themselves, honoring me with their trust. Other days, they tell me little things, like when my friend told me her magnolia tree smells like lemonade when she mows around it in the summertime. These small gifts make me smile and help me know them more fully. When I get bad news, they text and ask how they can help. When I get good news, they text and tell me they cried happy tears for me. I often feel undeserving of their love and concern. No matter what, these friendships have encouraged me to be a better friend—to show up and be real and laugh easily and cry readily. It will take me the rest of my life to pay them back for their devotion, but it’s a privilege to try. #friendship

While driving to a doctor’s appointment the other day, I saw a group of cars and pedestrians stopped along a residential street. I looked to see where people were pointing, hanging out of car windows and standing along the sidewalk. Eventually, I found the reason for the traffic jam: a mother duck and her four ducklings in tow. Busy people stopped to smile and coo at the little family as they leisurely crossed the street. A woman walking her dog pulled her pup back, wrapping the leash tightly around her hand to protect the ducks from a sudden attack. For a moment, we were all self-appointed caretakers for this fragile group. I thought a lot about those ducks the rest of my day. I wondered where they came from and where they were going. Was there a pond nearby? Were they pets? I also considered the reaction of the other people on the street. Why did this poultry parade elicit such a response? I think I know why. There’s something inside us—the part of our souls where love and generosity and thoughtfulness exists—that makes us want to shelter the vulnerable. When we give in to our better self, we feel compelled to defend the defenseless and love the broken. Of course, we’re also created with the capacity to cause destruction and harm. And, unfortunately, that’s the impulse that gets the most press. We read more of murdering the innocent than protecting them. We’re told of more cruelty than kindness. And though it’s right to shine a light on abuse and injustice, I’m here to say there is still goodness (Thank goodness!). There are teachers who live to impart knowledge and show compassion to our kids. There are military personnel, police officers, and firefighters who voluntarily put themselves in dangerous situations so that we can sleep at night. There are social workers and healthcare professionals who give their time to disadvantaged members of our community who would otherwise go unnoticed. All of these servants in our community minister to the most vulnerable, the voiceless and oppressed. In other words, they see the parade of ducklings and they stop. Maybe we all have this capacity to nurture. We may just be out of practice. #caring

Here’s a sentence you’ll never hear: “Abby is so graceful. She moves like a feather floating on a breeze.” I can hurt myself just walking down the stairs, but when you add complicated workout machines and the synchronized hefting of heavy weights to the equation, my clumsiness multiplies exponentially. I have managed to fall off of and/or hurt myself on almost every exercise machine at my gym: I was brought to my knees by a moving treadmill. I nearly lost a toe in the stair climber. I hit myself in the face with the bar of the rowing machine. To add insult to injury (literally), I actually pay someone to tell me to do these painful exercises. When I want to quit running or lunging or lifting, my workout coach pushes me to keep going and I do, knowing full well I won’t be able to move my arms or legs the next day. So why do I submit myself to such torture? It’s about losing weight and gaining muscle and feeling energized, of course. It would be oh-so much simpler if I could just pay the monthly fee and see the desired results without showing up to exercise, but that’s not how it works. For many of us—especially those of us with a bit of a stubborn streak—this “No Pain, No Gain” exchange can apply to our quest to transform into the people of character we’re striving to be. When I ask God to make me more patient, He doesn’t just hand over a big plate of patience. He allows me to suffer trials to develop it. When I ask God to help me trust Him with every part of my life, He doesn’t automatically make me a person fully reliant on Him. Instead, He gives me painful opportunities to stretch the muscle of my faith. The soreness and discomfort have a purpose. After exercising, my workout coach suggests that we eat or drink protein to help those exhausted muscles repair and grow stronger. There have been times in my journey of faith where I need the same kind of post-workout treatment. My faith has been stretched with waiting on unanswered prayers and exposure to fresh examples of misery and despair. At the point of spiritual exhaustion, I need the reassurance of friends and the embrace of my kids. I need a quiet conversation with my husband just before bedtime. I need to sit with my Bible and my notebook behind a closed door. It’s time to reflect and repair and, hopefully, take a step closer to being the woman I’m meant to become. #Trust

I am a soccer mom. If you’re not sure if you’re also a soccer mom, take this easy quiz: If you have a sunburn that includes your nose and forehead (nothing covered by sunglasses), your legs from the hem of your shorts to your knees, and one side of your body predominantly over the other…you may be a soccer mom. If you have very specific opinions on collapsible, camping chairs and have occasionally experienced jealousy when seeing other people with far better chairs—usually ones equipped with built-in umbrellas…you may be a soccer mom. If you can find most or all of the following in your van or SUV: a ball pump, water bottles, long socks, and lots of grass…you may be a soccer mom. If your son or daughter would consider the name “Messi” a compliment…you may be a soccer mom. I grew up in a family where sports were an afterthought. Neither my sisters nor I played anything other than the piano. As teenagers, we attended many sporting events to cheer on our classmates, but it wasn’t life changing. In fact, “being competitive” was something I considered a character flaw. I’m beginning to change my mind. On Sunday afternoon, I watched my son’s team play three games. Our team lost the first game, won the second game against a different team, and then had to play that first team—the ones who beat us mercilessly—again for the third game. All of us parents were dreading that third game. The boys were exhausted. I was praying for a freak thunderstorm to rush in and force us to call it off. But the whistle was blown for the game to begin. They started off strong, defending positions to keep the other team from scoring but their defensive wall began to show some cracks. By halftime, it looked hopeless. Our team hadn’t scored and the other team was making it look too easy. Many parents yelled at the referees to make better calls, but deep down we all knew it was only going to get uglier. I watched my son with a mother’s eyes. I looked for tears of frustration and signs of despair, but saw none. He would attempt passes that were quickly stolen by the opposition. Even when our coach moved him to play goalie and he failed to defend two goals, he kept on going. He played hard and called to his teammates as if there was still a chance for them to turn things around. If this were a movie, I would finish the story with a triumphant ending: “They called timeout with minutes to go. In the huddle, they made a plan and Coach gave them a pep talk to end all pep talks. When playing resumed, they scored fifteen goals in a row and won!” Since this wasn’t a movie, I have to report that they lost the game. I’m not sure about the final score because I stopped counting somewhere around 6-0. When it was over, I expected my son to be disappointed. He was mainly hungry. As we prepared to leave, one of the players from the other team passed us. He said to my son, “Good game” and my son responded, “Thanks.” In that simple exchange, two ten year-olds taught me the healthy side of competition. They both played hard, but someone had to win and someone had to lose. While he was on the field, my son was laser focused on the roles he had to play for his team. Because he gave it his all, when the game was over, he could walk away feeling good about what he had done. He knew there would be many more opportunities to prove himself later. He didn’t need a token trophy for participation or even a consoling ice cream cone. He hopped in the van, a true competitor. Even if he had won the World Cup, I couldn’t have been prouder. #soccer

Since he was four years old, my son has suffered from migraine headaches. When he has an episode, the sequence of events is usually the same: He comes into our room around 3:00 a.m. He sidles up to my side of the bed and tells me his head hurts. I try to shake the fuzziness from my sleepy brain and focus on his dark silhouette and whispered words. After a minute, I get up and walk him to the kitchen where I dispense a dose of Motrin despite the fact that he will vomit it and everything else an hour or so later. Early on, we took him to specialists. He was tested and scanned and given a clean bill of health. Nothing to worry about but nothing much we can do for him. His headaches have decreased in the last year, and for this we are grateful. But when he does get one, my number one priority—in fact my only purpose for being awake in the wee hours of the morning—is to help him sleep. I know if I can only get him to fall asleep he will feel better. Two hours of uninterrupted, shut-eye is the best medicine for his headache to go from a pulsing, puking nightmare to a dull thud. So I make his room as dark as possible. I adjust his ceiling fan and blankets to be sure he’s not too hot and not too cold. I try to create the most relaxing environment possible but, in the end, he has to will himself to sleep. He must choose to breathe deeply, stop grinding his teeth, and relax his scrunched up eyes and clenched fists. I can’t do it for him. His distress reminds me of my own misery. Mine isn’t usually the physical kind, but it often involves fist-clenching and teeth-grinding, and if it goes on too long, some eye-twitching. My affliction is stress. I take on too much and bottle it up, owning the deadlines and commitments and failures until they wind me up like a tightly coiled spring—until they own me. But I have a Heavenly Father who sits alongside me as I stew over my to-do list (and my shouldn’t-do list and my what-if list and my do-better list). He brushes the stray hairs from my face and rubs his thumb along my wrinkled forehead. Then he whispers, “Be still. I’m God, not you. I’m your ever-present help in times of trouble. Even if the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, I’ll still be here. So just be still.” When I finally listen, I can feel his presence. My playlist of “Self-Reproach and Impending Disaster: Volume 101” stops repeating in my head. Well, let’s be honest, the words are still there but they move (maybe temporarily) into the background. Then I breathe deeply of His Spirit, and I unclench my fists so my hands are ready to accept His offerings of peace. I relax my scrunched up eyes so I can rest, so I can at last be still. #prayer #rest